Thursday, 28 January 2021

Scary Monsters and Super Creeps, (pulp Alley game) not for the offended


Dave from Pulp Alley makes some inspiring Videos of his games, so empowered i wanted to do some thing that has been in my head a bit, huge fan of the life on mars and Ashes to Ashes TV shows so I compiled  a cast to  throw against my TV Police, what else but those insane characters from League of Gentlemen. 
DC Gene hunt has got word of the missing children in Royston Vasey, that the town was leaving victim for the local insane family to take for whatever purpose. Gene gathers his  team and they set off, to some old stones where they are informed the children are left.

" Right you lot we find the kid and if any of these inbred,homicidal, cannibal, skin wearing, nutters get in your way, arrest with extreme prejudice, basically you shoot the  buggers"
Police line, top row Keely, Gene and Regan, bottom row Constables and  rover the Doberman on loan from the  Germans
The family top row, David, Edward and Tubbs, Bottom row the  dancing loonies, Big bad, Knife Nellie and Bowman.  Tubbs cause horror so this will be interesting..
Monday was bad at school so they  left her  for the Family
The setting it is scenario 2 so you need a plot point to go for the main one , that's Monday. Random deployment so everyone is everywhere...
Tubbs the  dancers and David go for the plot points

Rover, Gene and a copper set off to find the girl
Gene spots  Knife Nellie, who scrams and  charges, "you threaten me you skin wearing tart?"

she falls dead as a door-nail.

Rover charges Edward who fend the Fierce hound off
Big Bad sees Gene and charges head long "you shoot Nellie you die"
Gene spots him and drops him in full flight, "Get down you Div"
Edward wrestles the Dog to the ground "We wont have pets around here"
A constable rushes him "your under arrest " Edward smiles "You wish"
Keely and Regan  reach the plot point and are bot stopped dead by it, the solo and horror cards come into play as Tubbs get close
She wanders close "pretty things how nice" passes the plot point and takes the  key to the lock holding Monday
David kills a Police man and stares at the advancing Gene "hey you nonce he was one of mine" Gene shots at the creature who dodges off

Regan and Kelly wrestle with Tubbs , but to no avail, "Mine mine mine"

The Dancing girls  charge at Gene kicking and biting , "Bloody hell its Pans People rejects", he knocks one out with a blow. as the others pile all over him.
Edward finishes strangling the police man as rover gets up and dive on his back ripping and snarling, "I told you no pets"
Regan tries to wrestle free the keys form Tubbs and David suddenly attacks Keely
They both fall as David strikes and Keely shoots him at  point blank range
Tubbs dodges  and  climbs the wood working,"A pretty for my collection, come with Auntie Tubbs"
Rover drop dead as Edward wipes his hands, "had  enough of all that from you Dog"
Regan shoots at Tubbs but she dodges and weaves, "you wont shoot me today"

She unlocks Monday and grabs her, "time to leave we wont burn you"
as Regan fires again she drops of the platform escaping the rounds, "Not today, not today"
Gen punches the last dancer and sees Tubbs, he take aim, "You insane Muppet reject let her go" he shoots Tubbs dead. 

Edward appears and  closes on Regan his hand grabs his head and he  twists, the police man falls dead, "We wont have this were local people for the local Shop"
he spies the  girl, "All good things come to me in the end"
Gene confronts Edward, "Don't move you crazy, insane Git your going to hell where you can hook up with the rest of your depraved, cannibal,  gang" he aims, but Edward is gone along with Monday.
A voice utters in the  stones "Welcome to Royston Vasey, you will never leave"

Fun game. loads of dice and some great results, Pulp alley is what it says on the tin Fun....
if any of the above would offend please don't read, and be safe my friends.


  1. Most excellent adventure. At least Gene survived

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